How many times have I thought to myself
“Who would have ever imagined this would have gone on so long?”
“Never in a million years would I thought we would still be here in September” “Is this just it? A new normal?”
COVID hit our global community somewhat like a tidal wave except that in natural disasters the impact is hard and immediate and we quickly learn of the devastation that has been left.
We react to immediate threat and suffer the consequences of trauma in its wake. Natural disasters are considered to be “Big T” traumas. They fall into the category of a single, traumatic event that can leave a survivor of the event with symptoms associated with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.
“Small t” traumas on the other hand are more ongoing adverse life events related to abusive relationship, repeated loss or lack of safety etc. “Small t” traumas are not centred around one specific traumatic occurrence (although some individuals may have
“Big T” traumas alongside their “small t” traumas). They are often not life threatening but do threaten our sense of safety.
The question then is what is COVID? A medium T trauma?
Life as we know it has been completely uprooted, people have been displaced, lost jobs, needed to vacate their homes, have feared losing or have actually lost loved ones. People have been separated from the people they love and all they know.
COVID has taken away our sense of safety, a trust in the predictability of the world, our comforts and security.
It sounds like the effects of a BIG T trauma but yet it goes on, and on and on.
Endlessly.
Arghhh.
When people experience danger or natural disasters, their parasympathetic system is triggered. This is our natural survival instinct. Cortisol rushes through our system and we act as we should in the face of danger. When we are in danger, it isn’t exactly the time to eat, sleep or connect with our friends. It is all hands on deck… Save your soul!
The problem is that COVID actually presents a real threat. It is a virus. It is making people sick. People can perceive public places as dangerous because they can be.
The danger is real, it is not an illusion and yet it isn’t quite as immediate as a tsunami bearing down on you.
It isn’t immediately life threatening but indeed has the capacity to be.
What a mess.
And then day after day, month after month, we feel under threat in public places. We hear numbers and death tolls rising which isn’t exactly soothing.
We deal with the impact of displacement, helplessness and separation and our body reacts to it, whether we explicitly notice it or not. Cortisol (our stress hormone) constantly courses through our systems.
After 7 months of this “joy”, we are understandably exhausted. Our coping resources are depleted. The fight or flight mechanism that kept us going as we trouble-shot in the beginning just to “survive” is not supposed to be activated for an extended period.
It feels like after the initial months of fighting to survive this craziness, people are recognising just how exhausted they actually are.
And then low and behold, a new school year begins. New kids, new classrooms, new structures but energies…. Emmmmm… not quite replenished to say the least.
How then do we find a way to thrive not just survive, to transition from our highly aroused stress mode, to a more settled way to accept a new normal that is the outcome of an ongoing trauma.
We need to think of the parameters that are likely to be effected by cortisol and start retraining our bodies there:
- Sleep and Rest – When under threat, we are hard-wired to be aroused. Sleep and rest are not part of that and we definitely need to retrain ourselves. Therefore, focusing on our rest time, on creating healthy bedtime and sleep routines is really important. Make bedtime and rest-time special. Ensure you allow yourself to disconnect from work and social media at least 30 minutes-1 hour before bed. Buy that new pillow or those essential oils for a good sleep inducing vibe. Use sleep meditations or soothing music. Find a good book to take to bed instead of a mobile phone. Make sleep and rest a separate and positive time that you can look forward to. This is not always easy because sleep can be challenging for some but creating a healthy “rest” environment is positive whether you are a great sleeper or find it more difficult to fall or stay asleep.
- Eating – Cortisol can make us eat less in heightened stress situations or can drive us to sugar load to give us energy. While sugar can be a yummy treat, the moderation of it is important. Eating healthy foods that take longer to digest and don’t create immediate “rushes” can also give feedback to our system that we don’t need the energy store necessary for flight.
- Hyper-awareness – Any zebra sensing a lion NEEDS to be aware. Ears pricked, body poised, ready to flee. Makes good sense in the Savannah. Our more modern correlate of that is being constantly connected, online, informed, checking in to see if the threat is getting worse or salvation is close by. While it is less likely to be able to completely disconnect from social media, those beeps and lights feed our hyper-arousal, so finding ways to limit that is important
- Breathing and Walking Fast – One of the greatest impacts of cortisol on our system is the speeding up of our breath and our movements. Using exercises to slow down our breathing, various mindfulness techniques and just walking slower feedbacks to our system that we are not under such hyper threat.
- Rooting ourselves – Being connected with nature brings us back to a core sense of grounding. Taking time to look at some trees (even hug them – Tree-huggers say it works), walk barefoot on the grass, feel the breeze in your hair, go for a hike, plant some houseplants. When taking time to enjoy these basic things, we do tend to feel safer and more grounded.
- Connecting – When running away from a bear, we are unlikely to take time to drink a cup of tea and have a chat with a friend. Connection feels “unproductive” when we are fighting for physical survival. However, emotionally taking the time to connect and share, to feel supported and less alone not only fulfils deep emotional needs but also implicitly lowers our level of stress response.
Let’s take this week to remind ourselves that we are still grounded and safer than our body is telling us we are. Let’s taking proactive steps to lower our cortisol levels and slow things down.
The transition from just surviving to thriving is the goal but it takes time and conscious effort. No time like today to start!
